𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 '𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬' 𝐨𝐧 𝐘𝐎𝐔
Have you found yourself wondering before or during most things that what will people think, say, or react? Have you changed your actions, decisions and thoughts to suit others and ‘fit in’ with the society? How many housewives and homemakers, which by the way is one of the most noble professions and the epitome of selfless service which women across the world do, have heard the term ‘she does not do anything,’ implying earning money? Has it occurred to anyone that doing household chores lovingly requires a lot of hard work, dedication, concentration, sincerity and sacrifice? Money saved is money earned so homemakers do earn the money they would otherwise spent on household helps for every little thing. Labour cost is escalating exponentially.
The effect of what others say and think is profound on most people. We do not even realize that our lives become complicated and a mess because we mindlessly try to please others. This is an impossible task. There are so many stigmas; illogical and irrelevant rules set by a group of people, that it makes life very difficult for many. For example, age for getting married, age for conceiving a child, the kind of foods one should and should not eat, days when one must not shave, wash hair or cut nails, colours of clothing one must avoid, which months what not to do and so on. The list is endless. There is no end to these superstitions. Science has advanced, weather cycle is shifting, lifestyle has changed and so many other factors have undergone a huge transformation, that one must adapt and be free from falling into these traps.
You need to STOP. Stop fretting about what people will think and speak. Stop being affected by others’ opinions, preferences and choices. It depletes your energy, manipulates your thought patterns, wastes precious time in overthinking and makes you miss out a lot of good things in life. So, stop worrying about what others will think. It is OK to be different. It is OK to make your own choices in life. It is OK to have different physical abilities, mental capabilities, sexual orientation, preferences, culture, looks, dressing style, food habits, routines, family backgrounds, educational backgrounds, financial status and every other thing that matters. No one has the right to judge you for who you are. You are your own Master and your life is your responsibility. Take full ownership of your life, goals and choices.
We all have this inherent desire to be liked, respected and appreciated for our looks, thoughts, actions, personality, nature, talent and intelligence. But we do not realize that we gradually start relying on other people to shape our lives and crave for external gratification. We make their opinions the focal point of our lives and start altering ourselves and our lives to fit into their expectations. That is a vicious cycle, with no merit. Never give others the control and power over you and your life. Never be sorry for who you are. The only thing real is what we believe ourselves to be. Others will perceive us the way we perceive ourselves.
Focus on what you want and the things that matter. Take insight of the bigger picture. Always keep in mind that people mostly give casual remarks, without fully observing and thinking. They have their own lives to mind and better things to do. Be perspective. Other people’s opinions may be good for them, but not necessarily for you in your situation and circumstances. It is your life and you know what is best for you. Learn to mind your own business. Stop asking multiple people for opinions for every little thing. Learn to trust your instincts and stop fearing criticism. Pick and choose what is best for you and act accordingly. Have faith and be strong. If you feel that you are doing the right thing and others misjudge you for some time, let it be. In the end, it will all work out well and they will realize that you meant well. Patience and nerves of steel pay off in the long run.
Do not get triggered with small things. Be rock solid and strong willed. Avoid blowing things out of proportion and learn to shake off things or remarks that are not good for you. Remember that you cannot please everybody. Stop overthinking about everything. Seek and filter constructive feedback and take it positively to build yourself up. Opinions and people keep changing constantly, so nothing is permanent. Sow what you want to reap because your get whatever you give. Be optimistic, positive, happy and cheerful. Learn to live in the moment. Find an able role model for yourself who inspires you. Always remember that life is too short for grudges, resentment, hatred, fears and worrying. Time flies by very fast. Avoid doing things that you will regret later.
Let go of what people think and speak. Make conscious efforts to do the same. Meditate regularly to clear your mind of unwanted emotions and thoughts. Mindfulness and Meditation make you aware of your real self, possibilities, powers and potential. What people think and say about you is not your responsibility. Figure out what you want in life and work hard and honestly to achieve your goals. Live your life confidently and with high self-esteem. It is okay to be wrong sometimes. Admit your mistake and learn the lesson. The way you communicate with others influences your connections and bonds with them. Understand the effect others have on you and vice versa.
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